I can hardly believe that it has been 10 years since we first became acquainted with one another, nor can I believe it is now five years since I last visited you. I never intended for it to be this long but you know how it is, life changes even when you don’t want it too.
For such a long time so many of my dreams involved you, you made me feel so alive, so full of purpose and I want you to know letting you go was not easy, even if it was the right thing to do.
Out of all the sacrifices we made along the way, more than passing up career opportunities, more than selling our house, sacrificing our dream of you was the hardest and most heartbreaking decision we ever had to make.
Perhaps the timing wasn’t right. Perhaps it was time to dream new dreams. Perhaps amongst all the good intentions we had lost focus of the most important thing.
Whatever it was, a future without you was a daunting prospect and for some time I found myself grieving for the life we could have lived and the dreams that would never come to be.
Five years on and my heart has slowly healed. I am now a mother to two sweet little blonde girls and for the first time in a long time I find myself happy being stuck on this little rock that I get to call home.
In the end thanks to knowing and losing you I have learnt to live life with an open heart. I know myself better, my passions more clearly and I have come to see the journey God had us on all along.
It’s fair to say that life isn’t what we originally planned but it has turned out to be pretty great anyway. And you’ll be pleased to know that with time I have found the courage to dare to dream again.
Malawi, please know you will always be held in my heart with such fondness, I am who I am today because of the part you played in my life.
Thank you for having such a warm and generous heart. Thank you for being part of my story.
P.S. I promise to visit again one day, hopefully with those two blonde girls I was telling you about. I want them to know you like I do.